haha i think guitar doraemons are amazing talents.

they come up with all sorts of strumming patterns, transpose in a second and can split their brains into 2 to strum and sing at the same time. my left hand -right hand- brain-voice circuit is still pretty primate. so learning from kenneth the whizz is literally painful (the callus in my fingers seem hyperaesthetic rather than hypo)

having diabetic fingers now might be a good thing. neuropathy!

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on a side note, its snowing where lenny is now! gosh imagine a white christmas. with a huggee ice skating rink. the rockefeller xmas tree.

christmas is my favourite season of the year!

received an email out of the blue today from dean's office. to inform us that our mentor, dr ng t.h. has passed away. although he was our mentor from Year 1 and we never got to meet him, i still felt sad at reading the email.

he was diagnosed a few wks ago with gastric cancer, and passed away shortly after.

http://news.sma.org.sg/4108/Gone.pdf

today, i was about to clerk a patient with gastric cancer as well. but as i walked towards his bed, i realised it was very crowded inside the curtains. crying and wailing was audible from where i was standing. it should have been only right for me to step away. but i just continued standing there. the idea of being so close to death was surreal. i didnt know why, but i continued to stand in that atmosphere of mouring for a while.

i never want to be desensitised to this. and i don't know how i'm going to handle this in the future either. for now, it seems too hard.

im hooked onto that currently.

if given an entire day off, free from crazy 6am trudges to NUH, i would probably finish the series in one whole shot. the mum (ah qiao) amazes me with her wisdom in handling her family issues. i mean the fools in the family run about, lose their temper, make a big fuss and never ever get the problem solved. all she needs is a bit of thinking and confrontation, and she defuses all the bombs.

acquiring wisdom is an active process. doesn't just come naturally with experiences as much as i wish it did.
 
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and i have a burning itch to get a bike license. i just cant help but want to zip through the streets in the morning, experiencing the morning breeze in my face. wash my white vespa every sunday and occasionally, drive out to get supper back for the family. i even dreamt of secretly driving daddy's bike down bedok reservoir road and parking it back nicely before he found out.

but the statistics in the A&E deters the dowager. as much as dad has alr agreed. its going to take ages to convince her.

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shall start packing for surg night call tmr. hope some excitement comes out of it!

the anchor that used to give you a sense of identity and belonging.

is the same anchor that now holds you down. your head below the water level. leaving you gasping for air.

EOPTs will be over in 2 days!

probably one of the most exhilarating exams taken in my life. and the closest to real life problems i will ever get to. im pretty excited : )

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8164624.stm - dr fish and chips

and 2 tuitions are alr zapping the life out of me. my capacity is starting to disappoint me.

i wish i could spend less time thinking about fulfilling my dreams, and turn that time into action. somehow, reconciling my ideals to reality has been increasingly hard. it feels like i'm a sony ericsson phone. as i charge my battery more and more, the battery life runs out faster. discipline seems to have fled from my dictionary.

sometimes, i wish i could spend less time thinking about being a better friend, a better daughter, a better child of God and a better medical student too. because realising the gap from perfection scares me. and i wonder if i will ever reach there.

http://www.ourfeistyprincess.com/

4 yr old charmaine reminds me of you. and i know you've been fighting long and hard. and sometimes, we can only stand by the sidelines and watch.

but i'm still rooting for you.

so keep on keeping on dear.

to be honest, completing the 10k run was a miracle to me.

haven't trained for 2 weeks with my potent nosocomial infection. slept at 8pm for 3 nights last week. with a chronic headache and blocked nose. thank God all of that started subsiding on sat night. to play safe, i wrote "having a bout of sinusitis" on my runner's tag. wanted to add "tell my mum i love her" but i thought it was pretty freaky. 

thanks yu kit for pressing on with me! amongst the sea of pink, having you made the journey much more bearable : )

21k here i come!

im really proud of that.

one of the best things you can do for me if we get to meet up (friends outside of med that is):

1) drag me out to play squash, jog, badminton, cycle. anything but sedentary will appeal greatly to me.

2) lend me your arms to spot for your veins. and maybe your back to percuss. since percussing the anterior chest wall isnt always most appropriate. lend me your neck to see your jvp. i promise to take less than a few minutes.


meanwhile, being in cgh means i get to reach home in 10 minutes. which is a privilege i have not had since i was in primary school. indulging in the later mornings, evening jogs. and today, wing bryon and i caught the sunset on an overhead bridge.

many people have been asking me about the impact about h1n1 in the hospitals. and to be honest, i dont fear it. a flu is really not the worst when we clerk even people with scabies (am i GLAD we didnt decide to PE before checking her files) the only thing that irks me, is that the mask muffles everyones sound. and with my alr limited hearing, half of what my friends and drs say get lost in the drager mask.

blogging from thai binh sapa hotel : )

sapa is a really beautiful place. though halong bay still steals most of our hearts away.

the pho. the heavily accented english. sweltering hot weather. rooming habits. chd inducing meals. each forms a precious part of our vietnamese memory.

treasuring the last 4 days ahead!